Night flight

Strung electric wires should be outlawed, banned.
The delicate meanness of wire
slices my beloved moonscape of largess
into quarters and thirds and halves at overhead intersections.

The turning of summer air to autumn crisp has come
and I revel in the cold of it pushing into me
from my speed through the night –
rushing turns to contented flight
as I wend my way homeward.

My fancydress is receiving an airing
as it accompanied me, shotgun,
in the frantic acquiring
of new shoes to match and hose
that wouldn’t show through the peep toe.

I am headed into lagoon of family;
steadier waters, but only one way out.

I think I am prepared.

Ode to a lifetime of smiles

Dear Jason,

When I think of you, images come to my mind of your ever-changing facial expressions. I can map them like a course of how to approach you. My favorite, though, is your dear face breaking into a smile. Your smile is the most amazing feat of Nature – it overcomes any experience of trouble, breaks concentration, and moods of perplexity and frustration. I have spent my life memorizing your smiles and storing them up in my heart’s treasures. I even share some types of smiles with you.

You have a disbelieving smile – where you are hesitant to believe something someone dear to you is asserting as truth. You have a smile that is a frozen, posing for a picture smile. You have a smile that splits your face wide open with acceptance of something wonderful and almost unbelievable. You have a laugh that cracks me up that sometimes accompanies a smile of sheer wickedness, relishing your evil plan.

Your smile is contagion – I defy anyone here to repress a responding smile when you beam on them those teeth that could not be tamed by braces or flag-football. Your whole face gets in on the fun, straining every jaw muscle. We have had hours of hilarity where you and I emerged cheek-sore. But you do exercise restraint sometimes – when meeting someone new you have a small, gentle welcoming smile that gives the newcomer a chance to acclimate to you. Usually, this was upon meeting one of my girlfriends – a polite smile, an attitude of deference and a respectful almost shy smile.

You also have a grin that can be challenging and confident. I normally saw that one appear when we were engaging in our strength-testing wrestling tussles. I don’t think many have seen that one (but watch for it, Leigh Ann! You may have occasion to see it!) You have a slow taunting smile that means – “I’m about to getchyou!” and it was my cue to run like lightning to escape your bony strong hands. I wasn’t awful successful at eluding you, but my proudest moments were when I was able to. I think it may have spurred your early love for the hunt – you knew the crowing joy of capture. Also, a bewildered smile of not knowing fully, but enjoying the ride anyway… I saw that one a lot in Belize.

There is a solemn smile that recognizes and knows intimately the depth of the moment – I saw it on the day of your baptism. I saw a variation of it on my wedding day – mixed with brotherly concern and tender love.

I knew that one day I would get to see this rare and unique smile on your face of contentment paired with joy that is your expression today. It outwardly reflects an inward state of your heart. These few days beginning this new journey is creating it. Your smiles have always been a result of your heart-state, and that’s why I love it. God, in his mercy has granted you a pure heart, Jason, it is highly reflective, deep and shimmering with the hearty recipe for a full life. Thank you for sharing its deep stores with me. And thank you for overflowing its riches to your new partner in life and choosing such a fine woman to entrust its priceless treasures to.

May Christ in his incomparable strength spur you on to ever-increasing life,

~ Jana

Contained

On a recent educational trip inside the icon-clad Orthodox church, I was enlightened as to the natures of woman and divinity. Symbolism in iconography is defined, a set of symbol-rules to represent an idea (lessening mass viewer confusion).

The icon of Mary always has the red cloth touching her skin, the inner garment. The red cloth signifies her humanity. The icon of Christ always has the inner garment in blue, signifying his divinity, the garb of heaven. This is how both people began the story - one created, one divine.

The robe thrown over Mary is always blue, signifying heaven being placed on her shoulders, robing her form. Her decision to put on the robe of heaven is made legend through her song "I am the Lord's servant - My soul glorifies the Lord". The outer robe around Jesus - red - signifies his action of choosing to take on human form. His decision, choosing this fate, humbles me.

The limitless encased in humanness, the limited encapsulating the unlimited. Contain the inifinity of heaven and earth - in the hidden place of Mary.

Buried under Switzerland tonight lies a tunnel, a tunnel meant to contain the force of an atomic explosion. The act of creation (or the moments after it) is being re-created on a minute scale (from the viewpoint of the heavens), but huge from human perspective. The bowels of the earth have taken in something that is limitless. The first reaction of earth's inhabitants is one of fear. We do right to tremble at the greatness of possibility, the limited nature trying to contain the limitless. When in human hands, we have been shown to consistently fail.

In the hands of the Creator, we need never fear, for he is at the depths, he is in the heights, he has me held fast. The comforting words of every angel sent on a communication mission to earth is one of reassurance - "Do not fear". Christ is able to wrap me in the priceless cloth of heaven, bought by sacrifice and a will that is laid at the only altar that can handle the implications of the act.